The Sins of the Fathers: A Reflection on Heartbreak, Loss, and the Legacy I Never Wanted to Leave

I’m a 53-year-old man, and if I’m honest, I’m no stranger to heartbreak. Life has dealt me my fair share of it—broken relationships, lost dreams, and mistakes that can never be undone. But what haunts me most is how my own struggles, my own sins, have seeped into the lives of my three grown children. I don’t have much contact with them these days, and though the reasons are many, I often wonder if the biggest one is the unspoken pain that I’ve passed on without meaning to. When you’re young, you think you have all the time in the […]

The Village of All Saints

Toto Santos strikes me as a unique little spot of culture and creativity, nestled into the hills of Baja. It’s a beautiful little community that expound upon a creativity brought here by the people looking for an escape so, maybe it would be categorized as escapist creativity. The Pueblo itself is unique and enchanting, with most locals waving at everybody as they drive by. That welcoming nature , and lack of suspicion of “outsiders“ I’ve found to be more unique here than I have in other places. There was a level of suspicion of Americans and Canadians in Lo De […]

Ditch the Beige, Embrace the Bold: An Expanded Ode to Ditching “Normal” for the 40-Something Misfits

Ditch the Beige, Embrace the Bold: An Expanded Ode to Ditching “Normal” for the 40-Something Misfits Remember that beige sweater your aunt gifted you? The one that makes you look like a deflated marshmallow? Yeah, that’s “normal.” It’s safe, comfortable, familiar, but ultimately…uninspiring. And guess what? Just like that sweater, “normal” जीवनशैली is slowly sucking the joy out of our 40-something souls. But fear not, my fellow freedom fighters! We’re here to declare war on beige and embrace the vibrant tapestry of life that lies beyond the “shoulds” and “supposed-tos.” Let’s turn that midlife crisis into a midlife renaissance, fueled […]

Why the heck do we worship vacations?

  Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from. ~ Seth Godin I mean, seriously, we all seem to have this bizarre obsession with them. We eagerly anticipate their arrival, mourn their impending departure, and then proceed to mope around like we’ve lost a dear friend once they’re over. What’s the deal? Let’s break down this absurd love affair with vacations, shall we? First off, it’s during these supposed blissful breaks that we convince ourselves we’re in control. Oh yes, control freaks unite! We revel in the […]

The Adaptive Mind: Unraveling Einstein’s Wisdom on Intelligence

The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.  – Albert Einstein Albert Einstein once proclaimed, “The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.” In this profound statement, Einstein encapsulated the essence of intellectual prowess – the capacity not only to comprehend but to adapt in the face of evolving circumstances. This essay delves into the depths of this timeless quote, unraveling the significance of adaptability as the true measure of intelligence.   Understanding Intelligence in a Dynamic World In the 21st century, the world is characterized by rapid technological advancements, shifting cultural landscapes, and unprecedented global interconnectedness. The […]

Slowing Down in 2024

  Buckle up, fellow time-crunched comrades! Forget FOMO-fueled vacations that leave you feeling like a hamster on a caffeine bender. This year, we’re throwing the rulebook (and probably your itinerary) out the window and embracing the glorious rebellion that is slow travel. Think less “ticking off monuments with a selfie stick in hand” and more “sipping limoncello in a sun-drenched piazza, feeling like Sophia Loren in your prime.” We’re talking about experiences that linger like the smell of freshly baked croissants, not flashbulb-induced amnesia. Staycations that rediscover the hidden gems of your own backyard, meditation retreats that silence the inner […]

Am I An Epicurean Or A Hedonist?

Why is the bride smiling on her wedding day? Because she’s given her last blowjob… Reprinted with permission from Un-Guarded.com While that’s meant to be funny, the sad reality is that fucking punchline is sometimes a reality for people. Let me be really clear that I do not endorse, condone, or condemn anyone’s sexual practices or preferences. If what you’re doing works for you, Bravo! Keep doing it and tell me about it if you feel so inclined. This is not supposed to make anybody feel triggered, diminished, or marginalized in any way whatsoever. It’s simply my experience and something […]

Change sucks

I’m back in Portland after being in Tacoma for a few days for my oldest daughter’s graduation, and this whole process has been such a painful and eye-opening endeavor, I felt like I needed to write about it, but I don’t even know where to begin. When I left Portland six weeks ago, I knew that it was the closing of a chapter that I’ve been living for 21 years, a chapter of love, parenthood, trying, and heartbreak, but I didn’t know that it would continue to sneak up on me in the various ways that it has. I was […]

Pedernal in the clouds

Ventured to Abiquiu Lake last night to see the sunset, and while it was cloudy, the sky was still wonderfully textured as the sun dipped down. Being back in the village of my youth has been interesting, with lots of old memories flooding through my brain as I adapt to a new life here for the next few months. Life in Abiquiu has its own rhythm and understanding, one profoundly different from the big city and, yet, something precious and unique.  

Goodbye

It’s hard to believe it’s been 20 years since I first moved to Portland, Oregon. This city has been my home for over two decades, and it’s hard to imagine saying goodbye. Portland has changed so much in those 20 years, but it still feels like home. As I prepare to leave, I can’t help but reflect on all the experiences I’ve had here. One of the biggest changes I’ve seen in Portland is the food scene. When I first moved here, the city was known for its coffee shops and microbreweries. But over the years, Portland has become a […]